


Fandom Grab-bag 3-Sentence AUs

by MajorEnglishEsquire



Series: 3-Sentence AUs [8]
Category: Elementary (TV), Firefly, Game of Thrones (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Hannibal (TV), Pacific Rim (Movies), Supernatural, The Magicians (TV), The X-Files
Genre: 3 Sentence Fiction, Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 13:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17023644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajorEnglishEsquire/pseuds/MajorEnglishEsquire
Summary: All the various 3-sentence AUs not in my main fandom, as originally written and posted on Tumblr.If you are here looking for new fic of your faves, I am so super sorry. This was not meant as a tease, only as a place to put my last few uncategorized 3SAUs. (Only the main pairings are tagged.)





	Fandom Grab-bag 3-Sentence AUs

**Elementary**

** Sherlock x Joan **

> Anonymous: If you're still doing 3 sentence AUs: Sherlock & Joan - Supernatural AU.

He’s usually pretty good about it, he doesn’t always feel this way, but lately it’s been bad, he hasn’t felt capable of saving anybody in weeks and his mind won’t quiet down.

“Sherlock,” Joan says in her most soothing voice – laughable, really, that she’d think he needed to be  _soothed_  – “give me the blade and let me clean it for you, the demon’s dead, we did it, everyone’s safe.”

Sherlock is so very far from safe, though, in fact, he is a danger to them all – he’s one of Azazel’s children, and the blood still dripping from his knife is tempting him to reopen his mind, welcome the  _power_  back…

 

** Sherlock x Marcus **

> lokirogers: sherlock/marcus, hs au

Bell doesn’t throw a single punch to get the giant lacrosse jerks to back up off of Holmes, doesn’t even threaten them – he doesn’t have to, it’s a respect thing, and Sherlock discovers that everyone respects Bell.

It’s a curious phenomenon that he explores when Bell offers to teach him some moves to get out of choke holds and away from attackers. He comes to respect Marcus, as well, and decides it would be best to stick around him, you know, for study (if certainly, definitely not for  _companionship_ ).

 

* * *

**Firefly – Kaylee x Jayne**

** At a Ball **

> sheisstrangerthanfiction: Just to shake it up a bit and give you a different fandom -- Jayne/Kaylee. Sent to a Shindig-like ball to meet a potential client.

“S'so stupid,” Jayne keeps muttering under his breath as he escorts Kaylee inside, arm-in-arm, just like Inara taught him.

He don’t say it too loud, though, just wriggles and itches in his fancy suit and tries not to ruin her time – it’s Kaylee’s night and for some fool reason all she wanted for her birthday was to dance.

She tugs him into a careful little two-step, and makes him concentrate on her and not his _chwen_ self all bumping into her, stepping on her dress, and you know, he’s thinkin’, as he watches Kaylee light up, that it ain’t so bad.

 

** Elementary AU **

> Anonymous: Kaylee/Jayne, Elementary AU.

You wouldn’t peg Kaylee for a recovering addict, Jayne thinks- hell, half the time she still seems like she’s on speed and when she doesn’t calm down he always threatens to drug test her, but she’s not typical in the sheer amount of knowledge packed away in her head and how her life isn’t in a shambles need'n to be swept up by him every other week. She’s got it together, she does, and a dash of too much enthusiasm on top of it: she’s the first addict he ever saw run  _towards_ the cops in a way that makes even him uncomfortable in some deep, past-life sorta way. And she has so much to teach that, at the end of their time together, he’s not really willing to move out, like, she hasn’t even finished tutoring him on all the different engine types and he really wants to see that trick again where she modifies a tailpipe into a potato gun.

 

* * *

**Firefly – Zoë x Wash**

** News Anchors **

> Anonymous: wash/zoe, news anchors

Wash gripes for months that Zoë is never going to see him over at the goddamn weather desk and Jayne agrees, “Well, yeah, not with your fool nose stuck in the weather charts all the time.”

Mal, most kindly, disagrees with their sports anchor: “Listen,” he slings a friendly arm around him, “I notice you all the time, and I’m on the main desk, too,” he promises, “we can both see your pretty face, even through that awful, awful,  _godawful_  mustache.”

Conveniently (too conveniently) Mal has to call out sick for the morning news desk the day after Wash shaves himself clean and he’s able to join Zoë there for the full 2 hour shift, and it ain’t just the shine of the studio lights in her eyes – he’s pretty sure she sees him, this time.

 

** Happily Ever After **

> Anonymous: Wash/Zoe, as a happy old married couple (maybe with kids, maybe not, up to you).

The ship might have done a little too much raisin’ their boy because he tends to twig to what ails her a good half hour before Mal ever could. He listens to her in the same way River taught him, with his hands pressed to the walls, his curly red hair a scatter against the floor of the catwalk as he absorbs sounds. Zoë steps over him and leaves the flying to her son and his auntie River, seeks the quiet of her cabin with her husband… only to find him there, pantsless, with the music up loud, ripping on an air guitar and winking at her.

 

* * *

 

**Firefly – Kaylee x Inara**

** Ballet **

> Anonymous: Ooh ooh, mixing up the fandoms--Kaylee/Inara, ballet au.

Someone tells Kaylee she’s not tall enough for the last damned time and Inara scoops her up for private instruction because you don’t tell a woman she’s not good enough in Inara’s presence – it just makes her seethe and want to prove you completely wrong. So what she does for Kaylee is teach her how to leap higher than anyone, remain springy and think long and just jump out of everyone’s reach. She’s already beautiful, a greater credit to the things she wears than they even deserve, and she’s already in it for the right reasons: she wants to dance, be happy, and infect everyone with that happiness.

 

* * *

**The X-Files – Mulder x Scully**

** Professors **

> sifthepit: Mulder/Scully, professor colleagues au?

He has his feet up on her desk again and she breathes deep for fucking patience as she turns to shut the door and hang up her purse.

“Scully, help me convince the Psychology heads there’s legitimacy in a cross-curriculum course with the Physics department based on that God-particle stuff just so I can make up a class with ‘overwhelming ennui’ in the title.”

She turns away to stack a set of papers he’s knocked to the side just so he doesn’t see her smirk and so her face can be perfectly straight when she says, “No,” and tips his shoe off the desk, nearly unbalancing him from her chair.

 

** Celebrity Chefs **

> clotpoleofthelord: Mulder and Scully, celebrity chefs!

Having a show together is not the best idea considering he was asked not to come back as a guest judge on  _Top Chef_  due to his anti-government twitter rants and Scully is, well… she was literally the White House’s head chef for three years, so they’re a strange pairing in that light.

And it’s not that she softens his edge at all - anyone who’s seen her knifework would laugh at the idea - but she does make him more publicly palatable. So they decide that they’ll do both: the travelling, local cuisine hunts Scully wants to do as well as the twists on tradition that Mulder wants to cook up – they’ll just hijack the kitchens of other chefs in the area who will be star-struck by Scully and unable to deny her anything and Mulder will leave them questioning what the hell just happened in their kitchens.

 

* * *

 

**Hannibal – Will x Hannibal**

**State Fair Food**

> sheisstrangerthanfiction: Since you've delved into writing for this fandom now. Hannibal/Will. Traveling incognito in Dallas at the State Fair. Experiencing State Fair food (i.e. deep fried butter, deep fried Oreos, chicken fried/deep fried bacon).

Hannibal grins, “I think you intended this as torture against my sensibilities,” he hits the nail on the head, happy to mock Will now that he’s got his head buried in a fucking trash can, hurling his deep-fried-Snickers and every other awful thing after daring to take on a roller coaster.

Yeah, okay, well, he thought it would be real  _cute_ or something to watch Hannibal’s disgust as, at stall after stall, they observed more artery-clogging American monstrosities than his delicate culinary tastes could handle – and now Will is the one regretting the very invention of the industrial deep-fryer.

If he just admits he lost at his own game, there might be a bit of mercy so he just moans, “pretty much,” and coughs up something that looks like corn dog, though corn dogs are basically the only thing he  _hasn’t_ eaten – and, for it, Hannibal concedes a bit, grinning only a little less and offering to hold Will’s jacket, rub the back of his neck.

 

**Olympic Figure Skater**

> murderfeathers: hannibal x will, olympics au, figure skater/non-athletic boyfriend in the stands

Will has never not been intimidated by Alana’s beauty and Hannibal’s grace on the ice and the way they move for their final showing is just flawless - just spectacular and he can’t tear his eyes away to the judges or to Coach Crawford and, after a while, doesn’t even realize he’s stopped caring about anything but Hannibal’s lean body, the strength in his legs as he lifts, as he catches himself after a jump and just – he feels so weak and so unworthy by the time there’s a roar of applause and they’re bowing.

It’s unforgivable that he shouldn’t have rushed down there to be with him when they were announced as winners of the gold - he knew they would be and he should have been with Hannibal in that moment, but it’s hard to think of himself as Hannibal’s partner when Alana has so much more poise and fits so perfectly in Hannibal’s hands.

He’s chastised for it, when Hannibal has Will’s weird angles back in his arms - he didn’t look at the scores or the cameras because he’s a professional and he knew – so he looked up to the stands and when Will didn’t come down, Hannibal came up to him, denying, automatically, Will’s reason for not getting involved, “This is a perfect moment, Will - a moment best shared with my equal,” and in no way did he mean his partner, on the ice - he meant  _Will_ , his  _equal_.

 

**Writer & Editor**

> murderfeathers: !! :) hannibal x will, writer/editor

The stony silence across the desk makes Will pretty sure that no one has ever criticized this man’s writing in this way before, pulling apart the fantasies of time reversing and dragons and whatever to demand the truth underneath - he looks scandalized, almost like he plans on skewering Will with his eyes alone.

“It’s not the elements of fantasy I object to, okay,” he finally has to say under the power of the unblinking stare, “it’s the fact that you take the lives of these characters and just erase who they are in favor of your perfect world - I mean, if you’re going to give us a universe where dragons consume everything, and heroes are faulty at their core, and time travel exists, you’re going to have to keep to a deeper theme because people will want to walk away having experienced a- a- a  _morality_ tale, at the very least,” he stutters, “and if morality doesn’t exist, make that the story, but right now this is just…” he shakes his head, “a ramble, a psychotic mess.”

A long moment before Hannibal begins to smile, “I’ve only ever encountered encouragement across this distance before,” he motions to the desk, “pure admiration of whatever images I spin,” and, you know, that sounds right, because he is a spectacular writer, Will can’t hold it against his previous editors for just being spellbound, but something more is going on here and Will is itching to know what it is, so he’s intrigued when Hannibal asks if they can continue this discussion over dinner.

 

**Dragon Trainer Will**

> murderfeathers: will x hannibal, will's a dragon trainer! hannibal is a professor new to a university nearby, or their paths just cross somehow

He slaves away at it for Jack and humors Alana’s objections to the continued practice of keeping dragons at all, so it’s refreshing to finally meet someone who can see, with perfect clarity, why it is that he stays with the dragons and how it is that they understand him so well. Alana brings Hannibal up to the mountain to visit, from the wizarding university down in the valley, and, almost as if his intent is to piss Jack off as quickly as possible, he comes directly to Will’s side as soon as he’s invited and extends a hand to feel Winston’s hot breath panting out over him. Behind them, all the other instructors and leads are on edge, watching someone new so boldly approach a young dragon, but it’s nothing short of wonderful for Will’s handle on the situation to go so unquestioned, as Hannibal even takes to the suggestion that he feel how sharp the dragon’s teeth are, all while Will keeps Winston perfectly calm (or, more accurately, as Hannibal comes to notice, Winston is the one who keeps Will calm).

 

**Birthdays x2**

> sheisstrangerthanfiction: Birthday AU 1: Will asks Jack to help him buy a present for Hannibal/they go shopping for birthday present for Hannibal. Birthday AU 2: Hannibal goes to buy birthday present for Will, Frederick Chilton wants to tag along to "help."

1: Jack is basically walking around the showroom *pinging* things and Will is ready to buy fucking anything at this point if it means he’ll get out of here without having to buy a $380 kitchen tool because his boss dented the brass, “Have to wonder how your wife stands you out in public,” he finally mutters.

Jack takes a full step back and snorts, laughs at him, “she knows better than to be seen in public with me - you’re not as smart as my wife, Will.”

Finally the manager comes out with exactly what they decided on and allows Will to turn the beautiful crystal in the light - flawless, as expected - and he nods, asking him to wrap it up, “I do think he’ll like it,” Jack adds, “you have taste almost as good as my wife, I will give you that one - of course, it’s Hannibal you’re choosing probably because I’m just off the market,” he grins while Will slowly turns to look up at him in a sort of creeping horror.

2: It’s a great idea, actually - because it provides Hannibal this perfect, clear, private moment in which to come up behind Chilton and knock him out, clean and cold, with only one swift flick of his wrist and a particularly heavy iron skillet. Yes, he can make Will the perfect meal for his birthday; so kind of Fredrick to offer. The tongue actually goes down the garbage disposal - if Will ever found out he tasted from Chilton’s mouth, Hannibal is sure that’s the one thing that might turn him away from his table more than all the other vicious acts conducted at it.

 

* * *

 

**Other Fandoms**

** Newt x Harmann ( _Pacific Rim_ ) **

> ilikebeesandflowers: Haha, you know who I'm not seeing on this list of meme fics? NEWT X HERMANN!!! So what if they had to cancel SPN's apocalypse?

The cage is definitely located in another dimension, and now they’ve got the key, the device that rips a hole open in one world to give access to this prison. It’s got so many implications that Hermann won’t shut up about – ranting about places like heaven and hell and purgatory and “WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP HERMANN I CAN’T HEAR MYSELF THINK, you fucking WINGNUT,” Newt tosses handfuls of ammo over him like confetti until he’s cursing under his breath about the likelihood of impact ejection or what the hell ever. “This will do us no good if we can’t find THE  _HOST_ , Herm, if we can’t shove the big daddy monster through the portal,” and he must get it because he trudges over and knocks into Newt’s elbow yanking maps out from under his hands, so sure that he’ll recognize the pattern in the Winchesters’ movements before Newt will.

 

** Dany x Missandei ( _A Song of Ice & Fire/Game of Thrones_) **

> Anonymous: Dany & Missandei - corporate AU.

Everyone on the board is so good, Jorah and Grey and Berry and the other young men who remember her husband well and want Dany to do well, too. But sometimes when they leave the room to return to their departments and carry out her orders, she feels as if the whole support structure that keeps her spine straight has just collapsed under her and the grief comes pouring back in, the weight of running this company, and she feels so alone.

Until, that is, she turns to her interpreter and PA, Missandei, and finds her, still and quiet as ever, soft and alive and open to those small gestures that keep her from sinking: touches her hair, her cheek, hugs her, smiles into her neck.

 

** Crowley x Aziraphale ( _Good Omens_ ) **

> colordrifter: Crowley/Aziraphale, reacting to the news that there maaaaay be a miniseries about the Apocalypse-that-wasn't

“I,” Crowley begins to pronounce, finger pointed up in the air between them like a politician about to declare the abolition of taxes, “had not heard that, yasee,” he finishes, slurring.

“Neither had I,” Aziraphale leans across the table, excited, sloshing the precariously-placed wine bottle.

“Not entirely sssushsush-sure that’s a good idea,” he catches the bottle as it finally tips from the edge and pours more for Aziraphale first, then himself, “I already have doubts about the soundtrack.”

 

** Quentin x Eliot ( _The Magicians_ ) **

> Anonymous: 3 Sentence Prompt: Quentin/Elliot, baking

“Oh, god,” Eliot pauses at the entry to the kitchen, “I…. sincerely thought it was  _code_ , I mean-” he nearly stutters, “I mean I didn’t think you meant  _baking-_ baking, like what the hell did I get this Earthworm Kush for,” he holds up and shakes a little prescription bottle of marijuana buds like,  _hello_ , like Quentin is the one smoking something.

He shakes his hair out of his eyes again and pulls a clump of dough from his elbow, “Um, n-no, actually, this is,” he shrugs, “this is what the spell called for - you have to bake the talisman into an actual pie and-”

Eliot does this full-body eyeroll and shrugs his coat off, snaps the bottle onto the counter next to the half-massacred flower bag, and starts rolling up his sleeves, “Honest mistake, okay, I think we can both agree that when a magical object is  _shaped_  like a pipe, the natural thing to do is-”

“Yeah, but– wait, first of all, why did you assume that would mean it would work with  _Earthworm Kush_ , and second,” he blows his hair out of his face again, “I know how to bake a pie, and third, don’t imagine we’re putting the weed  _in_  the pie because I can see you working that out in your head right now.”

He doesn’t give Quentin an inch, just busily turns and pushes Quentin to the counter, gropes  _in Quentin’s own pocket_  for a hair tie, and grabs his head to get his flyaways out of his face, “First of all, you don’t know what you’re missing, second of all, you don’t know what you’re missing, and third, you’re about to find out what you’ve been missing, sweetie, now  _scoot_ ,” he demands, and with good reason, because Quentin wouldn’t have been able to do what he does with a pie, let alone make a whole little  _galaxy_  of glittering, sugar-dusted stars for the lid.

 

* * *

 

**Crossovers**

** Moriarty ( _Elementary_ ) x Abaddon ( _Supernatural_ ) **

> Anonymous: If you're still doing 3 sentence AUs: Sherlock & Joan - Supernatural AU; Dany & Missandei - corporate AU; Moriarty (Elementary) & Abbadon - pirate AU.

“Well, lookit you, sunshine,” Abaddon touches her blade to the girl’s throat, “aren’t you a prize!”

“More than you can imagine,” she gives a cheeky little smile, “if you want the boat, it’s yours – I’ll have another man’s deck under my feet in the matter of a day, or…” she smiles wider.

“Or… we team up, maybe,” Abaddon draws her blade down the girl’s pretty neck, eyes the length of it that she’ll soon follow with her tongue, “and we take command over every man in the Caribbean– the Atlantic–” their smiles match now, wicked, “all the seven seas…”


End file.
